Laziness Doesn’t Pay the Bills

Tonight’s blog fits in the category of Random Bullshit. I’m not sure how to start this blog so I’m just gonna let my persona just jump right into it. 

Laziness is a killer of many. One of my favorite comedians, Bill Burr said it best when he said, “Ever have one of those moments, when you just plan out your whole day then you just go, ‘You know what? Fuck my dreams…I’ll just lay here on this couch and have a good time'”.

It’s uncanny how things like that happen. We’ve all experienced a moment like that where we are highly motivated to do something big one moment and then a few moments later that motivation is gone. And it happens at the most random times. You could be having a wonderful sleep, and it’s so warm and toasty underneath your covers and the second that comforter leaves your body it’s as if you’ve walked into a blizzard (cause it’s super cold in the morning for some strange reason) but you have to use the restroom and you’re forced to make a choice: Should you leave the warmth of your bed to relieve yourself? Or should you remain in the toasty embrace of your blanket for a little bit longer and see if you’re able to hold it in a little longer?

It starts there and then even leads to whenever we are hungry. We’ll be sitting on the couch watching our favorite show and we finally got our legs in the right position and our head the right way facing the television but not so much that our neck is strained. And then you watch a food commercial and though you weren’t feeling hungry before, that new sandwich from Subway or whatever’s got your brain telling your stomach, “Hey that looks good, maybe we should eat.” But because your position on that couch is so comfortable, you hesitate for a moment on getting up because you realize that would require you having to also leave the house to get said sandwich from Subway. (Did I use that right? I don’t know.. fuck you if you wanna correct my grammar. I’m just writing what I’m thinking) Anyway, so instead of having to drive, you can just eat something at home. But because we are so lazy, we remember that seeing what we have in the house requires getting up as well. Yes, the fridge is not very far from us but again, we’re lazy. So you try remembering what you have in the fridge, right? “I think I’ve got some leftover Lasagna from when I went to that Italian Joint with Lisa. Unless my roommate ate it..”

I think two examples of laziness is enough; moving on. I wonder what chemical it is in our body that causes laziness. Is it from the food we eat? Most likely, right? But I envy those who are able to discipline themselves to not be lazy and always stay active. Although I’m sure they’ve had at least one cheat day where they’ve been lazy. No one is perfect. Hell I’ve been lazy trying to write a damn blog for a month, and I actually enjoy writing. The only reason why I wrote one today is cause I finally was motivated to write but it took me almost 30 minutes to think of something to write about cause I was being lazy.

But earlier today I got one of my friends to actually get up and not be lazy. She was in the comfort of her bed and was texting me telling me about how hungry she was, to which I told her the best way to cure that is food, but then again how would I know? I’m just a writer, not a doctor. And so she told me, “But I’m too lazy to get out of bed” (those weren’t her exact text but, you get the point. Plus you don’t need to know who or what I’m talking about, for all you know I could be just making all this shit up; which I am) and for some reason I don’t know what possessed me to say it, perhaps because of all the monetary responsibilities I’ve been forced to deal with as an adult, but I just said, “Laziness doesn’t pay the bills!”

The only thing that’s worse than laziness is procrastination. That’s something we’ve all been a victim of. Those two go hand in hand. I want to exacerbate on that, but I don’t want to bore the reader by going on and on so I’ll do it later

…Get it? That was a joke about procrastination and laziness in one.. Talk about two birds and one stone, right?

Anyway, going back to my earlier conversation, the person retorted with, “Eating doesn’t help pay the bills either”, to which I cleverly said, “Eating keeps you alive so you can pay the bills” and then she came back with, nothing because she couldn’t think of a comeback. With that in mind, 1 point for Mr. Writer.

However, there are two possible reasons why I earned that point. The first could be because, I truly did bring up a great point and she knew there was no way she could argue against it. Or the second, and perhaps just as likely as the first, she was too lazy to think of something clever to say back.

-Mr. Writer

Written on the 23rd of February, 2015 at 9:31 P.M. 

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