Homer Simpson : I’m not jealous, I’m envious. Jealousy is when you worry someone will take what you have. Envy is wanting what someone else has. What I feel is envy.
Lisa Simpson : [Checking into a dictionary] Wow, he’s right.
For a very long time, I’ve come to believe that people are not always looking out for your best interests. It really sucks to say something so jaded, but it is an inarguable fact that there are people who have a smile on their face yet holding a knife behind their backs. Often it can be people close to you so it’s really hard to determine.
I guess in some cases it’s not really something you can blame people for; when shit gets real, you can’t expect EVERYONE to play the rules. Granted, this is not to say I have no faith in humanity. On the contrary, you’ve got a lot of folks that will surprise you with their kindness and generosity.
Regardless, I was taught later in life that you ought to keep certain things to yourself. It could be great news like, “my wife and I just bought a house!” or anticipatory news such as, “we’re gonna have a baby!” Hell, it can even be just something you’re proud of, “I love my family and our brand new house!” I’ve heard that people will see these things and their envy will somehow make the universe take away that which makes you happy. Religious folk will say it’s Satan that watch how happy you are and will cause that happiness to disappear, just cause he enjoys seeing us miserable.
It definitely sounds superstitious, but how different is it from when you’re a child making a wish before blowing out your birthday candles. “Don’t tell us what you wished for, or it won’t come true,” people say, and kids believe it.
Personally, I’ve kept a lot of things i.e., current events, good news, and opportunities that I’ve blessed with – to myself for fear of losing them. Partly because I’m even surprised that I have them. When I look back years ago to the very little I had and now they all seem like a distant memory. Simultaneously, time has moved so fast that I don’t even remember little things like sitting in a chair reading a book, and it might be a book I happen to reference from time to time.
I’ll give you a perfect example of “ojo” I planned to write this entry on the 31st of May. It is now the 25th of July. A LOT has changed since then but I remember always telling myself I’d finish writing this entry. Moreover, I “promised” myself and others that I would write in general more often. Who knows if I’ll be able to keep that up this time. I know I’m going to try for sure but things just happen that cause me to forget. It’s like when you promise to hang out with certain people that you genuinely want to. I don’t mean in that “courteousy invite” we give to people just to keep up appearances, I mean the people that we really want to hang out with but days and weeks go by and we forget to follow up. The point is, don’t talk about it, be about it. When you talk about “doing things” we have invited the evil eye to make its presence. Call it whatever you want, Ojo in Spanish or Nazar in Urdu/Hindi/Arabic, the point is, that shit is real and we (or at leaiginst, I) need to be careful with what we say and who we say it to. You never know whose listening and what they’re thinking.
Nothing more to say
The devil’s on his way.
-Stevie Wonder, Superstition
Originally written on the 31st of May, 2019….Finished on the 25th of July, 2019.