Hello everyone, for those that know me I’ve been doing Stand-up comedy lately. Well- not as my writing persona but as the real me. Anyway, I figured I’d write a little about comedy and a little bit about my favorite comedians who have helped influence my style. I don’t intend to make money or become famous from doing Stand-Up, I do it cause I like telling people jokes and it’s a great way for me to get people to read my writing.
Comedy fascinates me because it’s an art that can be universally shared. People can sit in a room and are complete strangers and laugh together at one person telling jokes about whatever. Outside that group of people, no one knows each other and probably wouldn’t like each other if they met but when you get them to laugh together, they’re able to put their differences aside and enjoy themselves.
During World War I, there was actually a cease-fire for one whole day and that day was because it was Christmas. (This is a true story) Soldiers from different countries brought gifts to one another, drank together, even played soccer together. There’s even a story about one soldier from, I forget the country, but sang and the other soldiers were in awe of how beautiful of a singing voice he had. In the book I read that talked about this, I don’t remember if it said that they told any jokes but you’ve got to imagine they exchanged stories and laughed together and shared things in common like one soldier saying, “Oh yeah, I’ve got this cute little thing back at home waiting for me” and another saying, “Oh yeah, I did too, but then I got married so she’s gone now cause my wife scared her off” or something like that. After that day passed, they had to go to war again and they couldn’t bring themselves to do so because just yesterday they were laughing together and realized, “wait? What the fuck are we fighting for anyway? This isn’t MY war.” And if we could all just laugh and smile together, how perfect would the world be?
Anyways, I’ll quit preaching and go on with the blog. Comedy is difficult though, sometimes what you say won’t always be what interests the crowd and occasionally you’ll have to deal with some asshole heckler who tries to ruin the show. A true comedian is a master at story telling and the following comics have helped influence my style of becoming this master Little things that they do are some of what I’ve taken and made into my own style of comedy and because of that, my art of story telling has gotten better and better.
The first comic I’m gonna talk about is Louis C.K. because he was the first comic that really helped my mind mature because he jokes a lot but he gives some great advice. One of his bits that has resonated me since the first time I heard it was:
“We have white people problems in America. You know what that is? That’s where your life is amazing, so you just make up shit to be upset about. People in other countries have real problems. Like: ‘Oh shit, they’re cutting off all our heads today.’ things like that. Here, we make shit up to be upset about, like ‘how come I have to choose a language on the ATM machine? it’s bullshit. I shouldn’t have to do that; I’m American'” (Louis C.K.: Hilarious)
The next comedian I’m gonna talk about is Bill Burr. I swear I watched this guy for like 1 minute and I was already bursting with laughter and each of his specials I have died laughing. He, like Louis C.K. gives advice sometimes in his stand-up but his style is more aggressive but it works for me cause my writing persona is aggressive yet the real me is super good at apologizing. But anyways, he was talking about how it’s tough to be a guy sometimes because there’s so much judgement from other men:
“I went to this place and i’m ordering food and I was done ordering and the guy behind the corner asked if I wanted a cookie, right? And I just had the unbelievable urge to blast this guy in the face. I’m not trying to be paranoid but my brain was just like, ‘dude what kind of a man asks another man if he wants a cookie? This guy thinks your soft or something! Oh you want a cookie there, cupcake? Who the fuck does he think he is? He doesn’t know you like that!’ And you know what the sad thing was? I wanted a cookie! I would have loved one; sitting there with a big glass of milk like a 4 year old. But I say it! You don’t I fucking say I want the cookie!” (Bill Burr: Let it Go)
The next comedian is Pakistani (like me, but he’s full Pakistani) and unlike most brown comics, he doesn’t talk about race or anything as much as he is observational and he’s just hysterical. I swear the things he talks about, you wouldn’t think anyone would laugh at but he’s incredible and is the reason why I started considering doing open mics:
“Have you guys heard of this new drug cocktail called ‘Cheese’? I’m not making it up. It’s a new drug cocktail that’s the street name of it, I saw all these news reports talking about ‘Oh it’s this new drug, kids in the mid-west are doing it, it’s an epidemic, it’s a new drug’ and I found out what Cheese was, it’s a mixture. Cheese is Tylenol P.M….
..and HEROIN! so really, it’s HEROIN. It’s mostly HEROIN! Heroin is doing the heavy lifting. It’s not a new drug at all, mostly heroin. I can’t just sprinkle heroin on Pan Cakes and go, ‘Look at me! I’ve made a new drug! I call it Pan Shakes! Don’t forget the special ‘Shake Sauce’, it’s just Maple syrup
…and HEROIN!” (Kumail Nanjiani: Beta-male)
The next comedian is Hannibal Burress, who yes is the one who got people to start investigating into the Bill Cosby’s rape allegations, but he is also a hilarious comedian. His style is observational but filled with one-liner’s and it’s just awesome:
“So I’ve put on weight over the past year or so, people love to tell you when you’ve gained weight, they give no advice at all: ‘Hey you got fat! Alright, see you later’ and that’s it. The weirdest people talk to me about my weight, like my grandmother: ‘Hannibal, you gained weight!’ ‘what does this mean, Grandma? We can’t fuck anymore? And why are you talking to me about my weight, you’re my grandmother’ ‘Hannibal you gaining weight!’ ‘Yeah, well your titty’s are really sagging, Grandma! Why are we critiquing each other’s bodies right now? I don’t know what your motivation was, I was just being defensive!'” (Hannibal Burress: Animal Furnace)
The last and final person I’m going to talk about is Pete Holmes. This guy has such a positive and friendly attitude and I will say is the reason why my Stand-up has gotten better because he appreciates what he writes and doesn’t mind if others will think it’s as funny because he’s his biggest fan. I know that sounds cheesy but you have to believe in your writing if you’re gonna go on stage in front of people and talk for X amount of minutes. Like Kumail (and the two are very good friends by the way) he talks about things that others probably wouldn’t think are funny but the vibe he gives off when he tells these jokes are what makes him one of my influences:
“I’m not racist but do you think at the first meeting of the KKK someone pushed for the proper spelling of the word ‘Clan’. I like to think there’s a guy with overalls and a torch and it’s just driving him crazy like, ‘Hey guys…guys? Oh yeah! Yeah, I hate ’em.. I hate ’em…They’re the worst…shouldn’t it be KKC though?’ and then they just beat the shit out of him. I just love the idea of a guy who hates bad spelling and people who are different.”
(Pete Holmes: Impregnated with Wonder)
There are a number of other comedians I’ve failed to mention, like Russell Brand (who is a personal hero of mine, I’d have to dedicate a whole blog to talk about him) but I’ve made my point. I hope you guys will appreciate this blog because it’s not easy to write but I love writing and will continue to do what makes me happy. Even if what I write about is giving advice, talking about random shit, or just ranting, I’ll continue to do that cause I like the idea of being an Artist and as an amateur Artist, my paint-brush has barely begun to touch canvas and I’m just hoping that at least one of the images I create will someday be a masterpiece.
Written on the 7th of May, 2015 at 8:30 P.M.